27 November, 2024

Another Flight of Icarus


I know it hurts. It lingers. Perhaps, for the first time, you feel like this, and it seems like it will last forever—but it won't. You just need to endure, to persevere, to push forward day by day, week by week, for as long as you need to, because...


One morning, you will simply wake up and realize that it no longer hurts. Everything that could hurt has burned down to the ground. Inside you, there's emptiness—a void that only a few people, and only rarely, truly feel. The void is all the greater because it once held a fullness that dwelled in its place. This state might last for days or weeks, but you become aware that the hardest part is behind you, that you've finally hit rock bottom, and from here on, it will only get easier. Even if you slip again, the fall won't last long—you'll get back up much faster and move forward. You push off from the bottom as you head back to the surface.


And then, after some time, you will finally wake up feeling rested, well-slept. You'll realize that, on that day, the sun shines differently—just like in those days before everything that pulled you down. You'll understand that it’s all over. You'll see that a new life has been born from beneath the ashes, that your metamorphosis is complete. As you break free from the cocoon of your old self, spreading wings stronger than ever before, you reach for new heights without fear, proud of yet another victory over yourself.


Beside you are all those who have never let you down. 

Ahead of you are new goals, plans, and dreams. 

Behind you is a life that wasn't worthy of you, with everyone who didn't deserve you.


You’re smiling again. 

You're happy again. 

You're strong again. 

You're free again.

You are yourself again.





11 September, 2024

One Day...


You’ll listen to stories from someone else’s lips,
They’ll spin you tales and you’ll see the lies.
You’ll dream dreams beneath his hands,
You’ll dream dreams, and long for desires,
An endless void will divide us...


You’ll leave all our days behind,
Both the radiant and the bleak.
A hazy trace will linger in your mind,
Like mist dissolving in the breeze.
You’ll forget the vows we made,
For it was nothing but a fleeting game.
You’ll forget the feelings,
For they will never return.


But one day...
When you feel utterly alone,
You’ll remember the solitude of One.
And on that day,
You’ll recall a distant day,
And kisses from a stranger’s lips,
And embraces in his distant arms,
And dreams born in his foreign mind—
Dreams of us...


And you will be strong...


You’ll hide us from the world,
As we come alive again,
Smiling together,
Deep within your heart and mind.
But then...
Too weak to admit it,
You’ll hide us even from yourself...


And now...
Look at me once more,
A stranger with every step I take.
Feel my solitude here,
Where I’ve come just not to be alone.


Something is breaking inside you...
Isn't it our dream?
Something is breaking inside you...
Swear it’s not us.


Agmonser




08 September, 2024

Before The Rain


I’ve been here before, my love.

I know this path ahead by heart...

I love you more than words could ever say;

I love you as I watch you slip away.


And I would tell you:

“Don’t leave — you’ll regret it,

But by then, it will be too late.”

And I would tell you:

“Don’t be afraid.

I’m here for you,

And I want you by my side

Till my very last breath.”


And I would tell you:

“Don’t be foolish.

A love like this doesn’t sprout after the rain...

Not just like that.”


But I’ve already been here, my love.

My words won’t reach you

Like they used to before.

Though I love you more and more

With each new midnight,

With every new dawn.


That’s why I stay silent, my love.

I bury my words

Behind stone walls,

Under miles of earth

Where cold water streams,

Cooling down desires and dreams,

So you’ll never be reminded again

Of the one who loved you

More than words could ever tell.


I’ve already been here, my love.

I know these paths too well...


I love you, but I can’t beg you:

“Give me your hand.

I don’t want you to be lured

By a world that devours the majestic and pure.

Hold on to me,

Stay true to us—

If I lose you now,

We may never meet again.”


I can’t beg, but trust me,

I’ve been here before, my love.

I know where every path leads,

But I can’t walk ours alone.

Though I still stand strong,

In front of the storm,

And I still wait,

With the last of my strength,

For you,

My Sun from the East.


If you hear me now,

Come.

Soon, nothing will be the same.

If silence and solitude break,

Instead of laughs and open arms,

You’ll find just pieces of the ember’s flame—

Remains of the heart that beats for us.


******************************


The rain will come,

And it will wash away the trails.

Where will we be then,

My love?

Shall we stand together,

On our porch,

Sheltered from unrest,

Far from pain?

Or wander roads

That even eternity can’t join again?



Xandy





14 November, 2022

Instead of goodbye

I'm gone
Just a shadow remained in your mind
The illusion of what I never was
I'm gone
And I'm already too far
To hear to see anything
Hours turned into days
Days turned into weeks
Into years
Into eternity
Which finally stood between us

I'm drowned
Under poisonous flood of waves
Those which you couldn't restrain
I'm drowned
You won't hear me
Anymore
As you couldn't hear me
In all those nights
When I was calling for you
When I was imploring you
Not to become
All that I couldn't forget

I fade away
Like a shooting star
In the forgotten dawn sky
I fade away
Like a trace of extinguished hope
In the heart which said:
"Let him strive endlessly
 And see how everything's in vain..."
I fade away
Like the will in a weary soul
Cursed to walk
The same path over and over again

****************************************

But you
Just don't mind
You'll forget it all
Like all my truths that you disguise
Behind the shroud woven in lies
For the sake of future
Without us

I won't deny
With a single word
Or single deed
Our fate is already sealed
And all you need is your peace
From everything
That we could become

(So just)
Stay
Illusive
Distant
Pale
Stay
Doubtful
Silent
Scared
Stay
One of the countless ordinary stars
In the ever changing deceptive skies
The ones I navigate between the times
Stay
Cold as you prefer
As who you are
Now
Stay
Brave
So far
Far away
Stay

26 October, 2022

You don't know...


You don't know,
There's one
Who listens to your thoughts
And steers the prow
Down through their stream


You don't know,
This night
Hides trails of the beasts
And one angel
Watch over you keeps


You don't know,
How doubt
Could hurt you
More than all evil
Inflicted by the world


You don't know,
How love
Like a fire has to burn
And to scorch
Proving herself to you


You don't know,
That sun
Shows all of his might
When goes down
And cold shadows conquer the night


You don't know,
There's one
Who listens to your heart
And through the rain of his soul
Tries to paint a rainbow for you


You don't know...


11 October, 2022

Not so typical Universe story

Universe... 


Vast, possibly infinite, but beyond our comprehension; rich in matter, but the most of it appears empty to us; mainly lethally cold for the human standards, but nowhere at the absolute zero.


Living in such Universe could be terrifying experience for someone who has left the warmth of the lost planet and who dwells alone in Bootes void, for example. 


Discovering a new Sun, building up a new, vivid, colorful and warm world, full of life, full of will to live, full of passion and desire, is like finding the lost paradise.


Once you found it, how would you call yourself if you despised it, if you left that all, going back into the same freezing emptiness, where you never truly belonged to?


Once you found it, wouldn't you embrace your heaven, wouldn't you appreciate it more than all that cold, vast, empty space around, for the rest of the time you've got left for yourself?


Once you found it you'd know what I was talking about.


If you never found it, then maybe, you've never belonged there.


If you never found it, then maybe, you've just wasted your time reading these words.


05 October, 2022

Missing you

Cold and distant world, three days away from the supposed star appearance in its local system, although prepared to spend the rest of its days spinning and revolving in the dark till the black hole takes it away.

08 August, 2020

The story of a loser - it could be you

 Нека давнашња јунска ноћ, прије двадесет и кусур година. Нека касаба, неки град и нека метропола, сви повезани једним хладним ратним прољећем, лишеним разумијевања и наде, и тим ратом што те прати, као киша, кроз трећу државу у деценији страдања, криминала и шунда. Усамљеност се једино смрћу могла мјерити, а лудило потпуним бјекством од стварности, кроз стварање једне алтернативне реалности у којој смо покушавали сачувати и његовати презрену умјетност и бодрост духа, кроз један фаталистички бунт у средини која је, с ове дистанце, имала онолико стрпљења за нас, колико смо ми имали разумијевања за њу. Сви смо водили неке своје битке, заточени као чопор у кавезу, сањајући слободу с друге стране и будућност која нам је одавно окренула леђа. 

Али... ипак, није било предаје...

Једно од ријетких свјетала у тој тами, посљедње године XX вијека и те тамне деценије '90-их, били су пријатељство, музика, поезија, филозофија, луцидност и храброст да се усудимо да из једног тоталног хаоса који је пријетио да се претвори у ништавило, кренемо да стварамо нешто, да се на томе путу бескрајно губимо и налазимо, дижемо и падамо, тврдоглаво гурајући напријед, своји више него икада, само са надом да ће некада, једном, у тој пред нама непредвидљивој будућности, неки од наших снова да се остваре, поред свих тих ноћних мора на које смо се већ увелико навикли.

И док сам те јунске ноћи, на рођендан свог најбољег пријатеља, на Вележовом стадиону у Невесињу, пуштао "Child in Time", загледан у ведро звјездано небо, сањао сам само онолико колико бих успјео да преварим себе, знајући да моји снови имају тенденцију величанственог самоуништења, у самим зачецима, што због стицаја околности, што због садистичког задовољства над сопственим мазохизмом. На прагу својих двадесетих година, нисам видио себе у тридесетим, а камоли у четрдесетим, и сваки нови дан гледао сам као прилику за живот, а оно што тај дан живота сам по себи доноси, био је колико поклон толико и проклетство.

И када год сам слушао "Child in Time" пред очима ми је титрао коментар поред наслова те пјесме, на старој плочи, с које сам је преснимио: "The story of a loser - it could be you". Да, то сам био ја, губитник, заробљен у узвишеном делиријуму креативно исконструисаних вриједности, кроз који сам тек касније успјео да се пробијем, али то је већ прича о неком другом времену, неким другим људима и неком другом животу.

Прошлост често личи на сан, док се питаш: "Да ли сам то ја? Да ли сам ово ја?"






02 September, 2019

Jednoga dana...

Slušaćeš priče iz usta drugoga.
Pričaće ti bajke i poznaćeš laži.
Sanjaćeš snove pod njegovim rukama.
Sanjaćeš snove i imaćeš želje.
Dijeliće nas beskraj...

Zaboravićeš naše dane,
I one bijele i ove crne.
Življeće samo mrlja u sjećanju,
Kao dim što blijedi na vjetru.
Zaboravićeš obećanja,
Jer, sve je bila samo igra.
Zaboravićeš osjećanja,
Jer se ista ponoviti neće...

Ali, jednoga dana,
Kad osjetiš da si užasno sama,
Sjetit ćeš se samoće Jednoga.
I tog, jednog dana,
Sjećat ćeš se jednoga dana,
I poljubaca s usana stranca,
I zagrljaja u rukama njegovim,
I snova u mislima ti stranim,
Snova o nama...

I bićeš jaka,
Skrićeš nas od drugih,
Dok ponovo budemo življeli,
I zajedno se smijali,
U srcu i mislima tvojim,
A onda,
Bez snage da priznaš,
Skrićeš nas i od sebe...

A sada,
Pogledaj me još jednom,
Stranca na svakom koraku svom,
Osjeti moju samoću ovdje,
Gdje dođoh samo da ne budem sam...

Nešto se lomi u tebi...
Da li je to naš san...?
Nešto se lomi u tebi...
Zakuni se da to nismo mi...

14 March, 2019

Our poem


Am I losing you
Now
When I'm ready to lose
Anyone else but you
And only you
My beloved muse

Am I hurting you
Now
When your silence
Like a dagger spears my heart
Again
With such subtle violence

Am I failing you
Now
When your pain
Plants seed of ice in my eyes
Blinded by you
As fire flows through my veins

Am I dying for you
Now
When only dream of mine
Is to be forever with you
While eternity
Echoes with our rhyme.

Am I vanishing for you
Now
When my every cell
Bleeds the life full of you
Into vivid
And bottomless well

Who am I for you
Now
When my every sigh
Breathes the love full of passion
Stripped
For you of any 'how' and 'why'

Who am I for you
Now
When the only rest
For this restless soul sleeps
In the palm
Of your hand melted to my chest

I'm teared up my love

Life is cold without you
Now
When I know
The one sun still shines for me
And there's one world
I could still make warm

I'm shattered my love

I spat the fire out of my heart
To make it better for you
Oh... what a horrible mistake...
I saw abyss of frozen hell
Damnation of eternal loneliness
I felt endless sadness
Loss that couldn't be stand
And curse of love
For which I returned from the edge
Just to put my heart into your hand...
An eternal flame will always be there
Burning for you
And illuminating your way...